Father’s Day 2021 Colossians 3:18-20 Pastor Barry Kerner
Father’s Day 2021
Colossians 3:18-20
Pastor Barry Kerner
In honor of Father’s everywhere we’ll be taking a break from the series, we recently began, You Must Be Born Again. We’ll continue with that series of messages next week.
It’s good to be a man, isn’t it, men? “Why?” you women may be asking?
1: Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2: A 5-day vacation only requires one suitcase.
3: When clicking through the channels on Netflix, you don’t have to stop at every romance movie.
4: Gray hair and wrinkles only add character to men.
5: If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.
Those are some reasons it’s good to be a man!
How many know on which day of the year are the most phone calls are made? That’s right, Mother’s Day. On mothers day everyone wants to call home and talk to mom. Guess what happens on Father’s Day? The most collect Calls. That’s ok though. Dads like to be needed… It’s all good.
Father’s Day just doesn’t seem to have a very high priority compared to other holidays, does it? I went to the post office the other day, to deliver a package. When I got up to the counter I asked the lady there, “So, are you ready for Father’s Day?” She gave me a sideways glance and said, “Sure, I guess…” I had to laugh when I left the post office because it was obvious she didn’t consider Father’s Day to be a very big deal. Most people don’t.
In contrast, Mother’s Day is a huge deal. Forget Mother’s Day and you’ll be in the dog house till Father’s Day. Mothers are highly esteemed on Mother’s Day. As a young boy growing up in church, I remember every Mother’s Day was a salute to Mothers. But on Father’s Day, all the preacher ever did was tell the dad’s what they should be doing right instead of what they have been doing right. It was more like a boot camp than a day to honor dads.
So today, dads, this one’s for you… Father’s hold a very special place in society… A much higher place than they are given credit for today. For instance, how many of you have seen a commercial that actually makes dads look intelligent lately? Most commercials cast fathers as the family idiot, who can’t figure out how to take care of the kids alone, how to run a load of laundry or clean the toilets without specific instructions from mom.
American society seems to see fathers as expendable parts of the family unit. In courtrooms, divorced dads hardly have a fighting chance of obtaining custody of their kids, or even being allowed to be a significant part of their kid’s lives, much less have the opportunity to be the spiritual leader of their household.
Sadly, many men today also neglect to see the importance of their role as a father themselves, which is why the term “dead-beat dad” was originally coined. As a result, their kids are growing up in unbalanced and dysfunctional households. In fact 39.6 % of the children in America are going to bed every night without their biological father in the home.
Fathers need to be reinstated to the level of importance that God intended for them! In fact, I’ve seen very strong evidence which points to the fact that the reason American morality and spiritual integrity is at such an all time low is because of the declining value placed on the role of the father in today’s society. When dad is undervalued, so is a right relationship with Abba, our Father in Heaven.
Today, my goal is not to remind our dads of their duties and responsibilities so much as to encourage and remind us all of their importance: the respect and the dignity of the role of a father. Fathers play an extremely important and vital role in our families and in our nation today.
In Colossians chapter 3, the Bible introduces a hierarchical model of authority in the family. Colossians 3:18-20 reads, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”
So, in terms of authority, the father is deemed the head of his household, and in 1 Timothy 3:12, he is urged to manage his children and his household in a respectable manner. So the father is charged with the responsibility of looking after the best interests of his family: financially, spiritually and socially.
When a man becomes a father, he isn’t given some sort of rule book on how to conduct himself. No one tells a man how to manage his household. It is something he picks up from a few very important sources: First, from the way his own father treated him: how he grew up as a child and interacted with his dad, Second from what he learns from his relationship with God and by the Word of God.
I can remember the sense of strength and protection my father exuded. He was always looking after his family. And while he never had the same tenderness that mom had, he showed his love equally as powerfully to us kids. People so often have the perception that dads don’t love their kids as much as mothers, because they aren’t as emotional or endearing, but fathers have the capacity to love just as much as any other spiritual being. It’s just expressed in different ways.
Instead of a tender hug fathers give strong bear hugs, it always feels good to be loved by dad. Dads are just designed by God to express their love in different ways. They express their love when they guard their family and provide good things to their wife and kids.
When I and my brothers were younger we were in the Boy Scouts. My father took us to every meeting and event and was constantly volunteering. He took time off to spend time with us. That sacrifice was an expression of his fatherly love. He was always working with his hands and showed us many things that taught us discipline and developed character in us. So good men learn how to be good dads from healthy father-son relationships.
Since almost 40% of kids grow up without dad at home, we know there has to be another source of example for the developing dad, and that’s the example we have in Jesus Christ. The best dads take their example from Jesus Christ and pass the legacy of the Lord on to their family. The legacy of Christ’s love is the greatest gift a father can give, and to be like Jesus in the way we manage our household is the greatest expression of love a dad can give to his family.
Some of the greatest experiences in my life were when I first saw my children – two for for the first time in the delivery room and three when we met for the first time during the adoption process. Immediately, I knew that I loved them. No experience or reciprocation earned my love. It was just there unconditionally. Our heavenly Father also loves us by Adoption and cherishes his children as he gazes upon them.
That reminds me of a story. One night a wife found her husband standing over their newborn baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. He would stand back, shake his head and say, “Amazing,” while smiling from ear to ear.
Touched by his unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, her eyes glistened as she slipped her arms around him. “A penny for your thoughts,” she whispered in his ear.
“Isn’t it amazing!” he replied. “When you take the time and really look close, how can anyone make a crib like that for only $49.99!”
When Peter asked the Lord how they were going to pay their taxes, Jesus told him to take a coin from the fish’s mouth, this teaches His people that our Father God is a God of provision. When He fed the multitude with a few loaves of bread and a few fish, He provided the example of a father who provides all the needs of His family, and He commands dads today to do the same. 1 Timothy 5:8 the Apostle Paul told Timothy, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
In the same way, dads have the awesome responsibility of providing for their family. Our egos are wrapped up in our employment. We’re ashamed if we are unemployed. The brunt of the responsibility to provide for the welfare of a family unit rests on the shoulders of the husband.
Dads are always striving to maintain a balance of providing for their family and spending quality time with the family. Scripture teaches us that there has to be balance in our lives. Because men are hard wired with the desire to provide for their family and make a good home for their children, there’s a constant struggle to maintain a balance between the giving of our time and the giving of our things.
A man constantly has to look to God for direction and example on how to manage his household. God’s example is that He always provided for His children, but He never replaces the value of spending quality time with His children by giving them things to keep them busy. So, while the provision is there in abundance, our Father God always places the greater emphasis on the time we spend together with Him. In the same way, a father’s duty to provide for his family shouldn’t overshadow the importance of spending quality time with them either.
A father also expresses his love though discipline. When Jesus rebuked Peter saying, “Satan, get thee behind me.” He portrayed the power of love through the act of discipline, not wanting Peter to be lost in the old way of thinking. Discipline is difficult, and it is often times received by our children as a bad thing, but it is a primary fruit of fatherly love. Dad has to discipline if he loves his children. Proverbs 3:11-12 tells us, “My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” A dad has to discipline because he wants the best for his children. The discipline of a father sets the whole course of his families lives on fire. Children raised in the discipline of a strong and loving father have greater discipline as adults, and disciplined adults make greater contributors to society.
A young man was making poor grades in school, particularly in math. His parents tried various things, none of which seemed to produce the desired improvement. Finally, they decided to enroll him in a private Catholic school. At the end of the first grading period, the young man came home and proudly presented his report card to his parents. They were shocked to find that all of his grades had improved significantly. Most noticeably, he had received his first-ever “A” in math.
His parents were overjoyed and began to question him to determine what it was that had finally produced the improvement they had sought. “Was it the non-traditional teaching methods in the private school?” No. “Was it the smaller class sizes and more individual attention?” No. “Well, what WAS it then that caused such a big turn around?” they asked. “Well,” the son replied, “when I walked into that school on the first day and the first thing I saw was that man nailed to that plus sign, I KNEW I’d better take math seriously here.”
Discipline is the act of a father urging his kids to live the right way, for the development and growth of his family. In the movie, “Remember the Titans,” the coach pushed those students to the brink of their abilities. Some accused him of trying to ruin them and break their spirits. But by pushing them – he made them stronger. It prepared them for a difficult season of football – and in the end they went undefeated and won the championship because of their discipline. If he hadn’t pushed them, they never would have pushed themselves. In the same way, a family is made by a father’s discipline. And so, like a coach that pushes his players – the father disciplines and urges his children, to make them stronger.
A dad expresses his love through protection. A dad places himself in the way of trouble to protect his family. Jesus applied the example of the greatest love possible when He laid down His life to save us, His people. In the same way, a father is charged with the duty of laying down his life, his desires, his personal interests for the sake of his family. A father puts his children’s interests before his own, and is able to partake in whatever reward might come through their lives because of the investments and sacrifices he made to help them. Dads are the first line of defense for their family, and are often the first area where Satan attacks, because the enemy knows if you can take the leader out, his subjects are soon to follow.
But the primary gift a father gives his children, the greatest legacy a dad leaves behind is the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. It’s true, when a parent dies, their children expect to receive an inheritance. Sometimes that inheritance involves riches and sometimes it doesn’t. But there is no greater inheritance than the legacy a father leaves concerning eternal salvation. Ephesians 6:4 tells fathers, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” A dad who loves his family will do his best to lead them in the way of the Lord.
1Thessalonians 2:11-13 reminds us, “…as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.” and Mark 8:36 asks us, “What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?”
Dads are extremely important people in our lives. We’re charged with the duties of protecting, providing and interceding for our family’s sake. We have the power to shape our families and our societies by the ways we live every day. We are the first line of defense for our families and are commissioned by God to deliver the Good News of the Gospel message to our families, not just with words, but in the way we live every day… Not just by the way we worship and pray on Sundays, but by the way we worship and praise God every day of our lives.
Before we pray for our fathers I’d like to close with a precious dad moment.
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of the father’s jaw were aching in anticipation. He carried it to the picnic table in his backyard and picked it up with both hands. He was just about to take his first bite when when he was stopped by his wife. “Hold Johnny, (their six-week-old son), while I get my sandwich,” she said.
The father balanced the baby between his left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when he noticed a streak of mustard on his fingers. He loved mustard and had no napkin so he just licked it off. It was NOT mustard. No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time he sprinted with his tongue hanging out. With a wet washcloth in each hand he scrubbed his tongue. Later his wife joked, “Now you know why they call that mustard ’Gray Poupon.’”
If you are a godly father, you know but perhaps cannot explain the profound love you have for your children. It is just there. And you know that you would go to great lengths to for them. The same is true with God our Father. He sent the Son into the world to save us from sin, death, and Satan. He gave himself for us. And that’s a father’s love.
Let us pray for our fathers.
Loving God, look gently upon fathers of newborn and young children, give them energy, patience and happiness in these fleeting days of long nights, diapers too numerous to count and loading cars with strollers.
Bless dads, who are raising school aged children and teenagers, dads who coach teams and stay up late helping with homework, show them joy in in the moments that seem both hard and wonderful all at the same time.
Bless dads who watch their adult children live their own lives; give these fathers perspective and wisdom.
Healing God, Comfort all people who mourn the absence of their father today from death or illness or because of broken relationships. Comfort those who had hoped to be fathers but have been unable to do so and embrace those who long to be dads.
Ever present God, hold up those fathers who mourn the loss of their own children or grieve over their broken relationships with their children.
Beloved Jesus,Son of God, help us to recognize all the men who have guided us and loved us like fathers, men who send a Light forth as an example of the Light you shine upon all of your beloved children.
Bless us and keep us today in Your light. In your name we pray. Amen.